The other day I was thinking about burning a CD. I never got around to it, but I did think about it. If I would have burned the CD I would have called it The Ultimate Rock Mix-tape: 20 of the Best Rock Songs Ever. I also would have had to write it with a Sharpie with really small handwriting. Instead I decided to write a blog and title it The Ultimate Rock Mix-tape: 20 of the Best Rock Songs Ever. I also decided to stick with the standard default font style and size. The songs range from 1966 to 2006, that’s like 20 years of great tunes. I have searched abundant hours, listened to countless albums, read hundreds of Rolling Stone magazines, and crowd surfed my way across the nation to pluck these 20 songs that I’m sure you’ll all fully agree with. They are in chronological order by release date, so without further to do, let the good times roll.

1. “Paint It Black” by The Rolling Stones
2. “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” by The Beatles
3. “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel
4. “Mony Mony” by Tommy James and The Shondells
5. “These Eyes” by The Guess Who
6. “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John
7. “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin
8. “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey
9. “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins
10. “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield
11. “I Love L.A.” by Randy Newman
12. “Caribbean Queen” by Billy Ocean
13. “Livin’ On A Prayer” by Bon Jovi
14. “Hey Jealousy” by Gin Blossoms
15. “Mr. Jones” by Counting Crows
16. “3 a.m.” by Matchbox
17. “The Warmth” by Incubus
18. “Californicaton” by Red Hot Chili Peppers
19. “Clocks” by Coldplay
20. “Smiley Faces” by Gnarls Barkley

NJIT, or N.J. Tech if you prefer, has completed their abysmal season with a record of 0-29. Yes, 0-29. No, seriously, 0-29. Tech finishes this year’s campaign with a 341 RPI ranking out of a possible 341 teams in Division I.

I kinda feel bad for these guys. I cannot imagine being on a team that bad. When you are 0-29, you make this year’s 1-15 Miami Tuna Fish look good.

Since joining the Division I level, NJIT is 5-53.

Hey Tech, I know I’m not a distinguished alumni, an administrator or even a current student, and I know little-to-nothing about your fine institutution of academia, but maybe it’s time to move back down to a lower level of competition, like Division II. Or maybe just drop the program and start a men’s lacrosse team instead.

As an election year, we can expect an increase in political debate, whether with friends, enemies, through online forums or in a comments section. Here’s something I’ve noticed when it comes to political debate…

All too often I see and hear responses to opposing political views beginning with “you’re an idiot.”

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So, I just recently found out that I’m black… Oh excuse me, African American.   According to recent DNA discoveries, the beginning of the modern human began in the heart of Africa.  It’s hard to argue because I don’t have RadioShack’s SuperDNA9500 analysis machine to trump their Stanford University Professors.

The Professor sticking his oversized reproductive organ into this theory is Richard Myers, a.k.a. R-Money.  He claims that this “helps to argue against racism”.  I don’t agree.  No matter how much buzz this generates or how big this thing blows up, we’re still going to have the KKK, gang wars, and those funny black comedians on BET’s Comic View making fun of ‘crackers’.

But this changes my whole perspective on things.  I can now: jump higher, run faster, have an unhealthy obsession with chrome rims on Cadillacs, love grape soda, vote democrat, have an excuse to pork fat white girls, etc.  I’m a ‘brother’ now… no not like a relative or sibling, I’m talking the way the black people,  I mean ‘we’, use it.

In the spirit of it being Black History Month, for the remainder of my post, I will talk the way I feel is natural… YO! Dis be Clayton, I’m out, home-slice.  NAAAAA MEEEEAN!!! 

Vote Obama ‘08

Growing up, I was always Batman and my brother was always Superman. I know this because I still get Batman pens, pencils, stationary, and the occasional t-shirt for Christmas. I think I even got a wallet one year, at age 24. I never used it and I don’t burn Batman-scented candles, but I was stoked when Batman Begins melted my face off, in a good way.

As we all know, Batman Begins moved away from the cartoon and corny Bartman of the 1990s to a complex, kick-ass, highly trained ninja of the new millennium. But the long-awaited sequel, to be released in the summer of 2008, is starting a second-string: Maggie Gyllenhaal.

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In typical Frenchie-Canadian fashion, Eric Gagne, now of the powerhouse Milwaukee Brewers, issued a half-assed, lame “apology” of sorts on Monday.

Gagne couldn’t handle the pressure of the playoffs last season with the Sawks so it’s fitting that he landed in Milwaukee, because who knows the last time they had a meaningful playoff run. Let’s see, top criteria for Eric Gagne in the offseason…

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So, these couples from Ohio decided to get married on “the most romantic day of the year” at the trashiest dump of all venues… White Castle.

I can’t help but wonder what these obese mutants look like. I could only imagine what kind of forklift was required to walk the fatass bride down the aisle. Not to mention that the wedding had its own slogan adopted from White Castle’s “What you crave” - pathetic. I just don’t understand the whole obsession with White Castle’s food. It’s disgusting, gross, redneck, smelly, and makes me want to vomit all over everything.

Just imagine what the wedding night was like… Two hippos rolling around in the middle of some hamburger grease pile in the hay loft of a barn with ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ playing in the background. The groom could only redeem himself if he gave her the ole’ Dutch oven on the wedding night. I’ll give him some cool points for that.

Here’s the story

p.s. I believe Harold and Kumar were in attendance

So you’re single on the day of love. Here’s 5 things you shouldn’t do after you’ve had a few.

5. Blog

Blogging while drunk can always get a person in trouble. Sure…we all think we’re funnier when were greased, but some jokes fall flat on their poop-shoot, especially when read in the monotonous inner-brain. Also, try not Blog angry (dick!).

4. Text Girls You Used to Love

She is not going to fly from Wisconsin to Florida to make babies.

3. Text Girls You Still Love

If she was with you, you wouldn’t have to text her. Get over it, write a country song, and realize that she’s not going to drive the 15 miles to “watch a movie.”

2. Go to a Strip Club

On second thought, just go. Its all we have sometimes and who the hell knows…maybe she’ll be nipping at your berries after you make one-dollar bills rain on her butt cheeks.

1. Watch “The Notebook”

You’ll end up writhing in a pool of your own tears.

No seriously, I can’t tell the difference…

Check out the full story.

Best prank ever, simple glitch, or stupid mistake? Well, due to a “human error” in the system, all 2,550 students at Palm Bay High in FL were summoned for Saturday morning detention.

I can only imagine the sheer horror some of these kids and parents experienced when notified that the student had received detention. I know I would have soiled myself back in the day had this occurred to me. From the outside looking in, the whole thing is simply hilarious.

Perhaps even more hilarious, only 40 students showed up for detention! 40?! Seriously. I don’t know what’s more baffling - the glitch itself or the fact that only 40 kids rolled out of bed that morning. My bet is that these smart bastards erased the voice mails before their parents came home, thus avoiding the beating of a lifetime.

If nothing else, at least lil’ Jimmy got a free breakfast out of it.