Twenty years ago, a box seat in Yankees Stadium cost a measly $10. Next year, in the new Yankees Stadium, a similar seat will cost only slightly more - about $2,500.

At least that $2,500 includes free food.

And good luck trying to take a family outing to a ball game. You might as well go to Disney World. It would probably be about the same price, but neither option is worth the money.

It’s comical that even though the economy is in the shitter right now, fans are still willing to shell out some serious cash for their beloved teams, i.e. the Yankees and Yankees’ fans.

Whatever happened to $5 tickets and $1 brewskis? Those were the days.

In the real world, a “power couple” might be a married couple, both lawyers. But in the movies, power couples come in all forms. Below is a list of my top six power couples.

Disclaimer: I apologize to comic book geeks (yes, you Yorick). I used movie power couples; in the comic books some of these super heroes may be divorced or separated, now a single parent, trying to make it in a world with no water because the greed of men brought a great drought and now people live off cigarettes and melted ice caps…yawn.

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Did you ever have to go take a piss, and you have to go so bad that you would literally do it ANYWHERE?  Only as long as you get that pee out of your bladder, it’s absolutely necessary.  I could recall dozens of times when I have to go so bad that I would do it in a bush in a crowded place with my buddy shielding my back and inconspicuously looking around like we are admiring the berries on the bush.  Yeah, that happens all the time. 

Well, how about in your 6^th grade class?  You ask to go, but your teacher decides to make some smart-ass remark, and you’re not allowed.  That smart-ass comment was: “Hold it or use my lunch box.”  Wow.  Talk about a teacher who’s extremely dedicated to making her students sit down and learn what’s in front of them.  She’s even willing to sacrifice the hygiene of her lunchbox in order for that to happen.

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Why go to the trouble of paying for a cocktail of various drugs when you can get them for free by simply drinking tap water?! Well, sorta.

New evidence shows just how much crap can be found in our cities drinking water supplies. To be honest, I find it sketchy that these prescription drugs are in the water we drink, even if if is only in “trace” amounts. Apparently the normal rigors of the modern-day water treatment process do not remove the pharmaceuticals from the water supply.

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2008 Olympics

Just a friendly reminder… You can get your 2008 Summer Olympics updates from SurplusThoughts.com starting on 8/08/08. 

Basically, the criteria that will be shared will be gold medal winners, schedule of events, medal counts, etc. etc.  If you have any more suggestions, please leave a comment to this post.  In the mean time, strap on your red, white, and blue jumpsuit.  Do some stretching and calisthenics.  And put on your USA game face.  The OLYMPICS are just around the corner. 

Uploaded are excel spreadsheets containing all of the vital information.  Comment if you have a problem with the formatting. 

I have read and watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Both were a while ago, but late one night I began wondering if Gandalf really left it all out on the court.

Gandalf started out Grey. He was the second most powerful wizard in all the land. Upon his new self-appointed nickname, Gandalf the White, and with Saruman out of the picture, Gandalf failed to impress. (Saruman, btw, had whooped Gandalf’s grey butt previously.) Possibly the most impressive thing he did all through the trilogy was creating that large dragon firework. Was Gandalf just a glorified pyrotechnics expert?

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Anybody could get laid.  Even an 800 lb man.  I often wonder how the guy could even find his rod in the forest of blubber and pubic hair when nearly weighing half a ton.  But I’m getting way way way ahead of myself.  Let us examine how this man got a girlfriend in the first place.

Back Story:  Manuel Uribe of was once a 1,235 lb man.  He lost control over his eating and workout habits after his adolescent years.  He got so big that his family and friends had to take care of him (i.e. feed and clean him).  He went online with his problem and asked for help to the good people of the globe.  Since then, he’s been bedridden and lost 440 lbs (WOW) on a high-protein diet.  For all of you math majors: that’s over one-third of his body weight.  Impressive.   

He MUST have gone through countless numbers of sheets from sweating all of that waste out of system.  Therefore, he must stink like the breath of tobacco-chewing carnival worker.  How the HELL could this guy get a girlfriend?  This brings me to my point… 

WOMEN ARE OBSESSED WITH MONEY!!!

Manuel “The Manatee” Uribe MUST have made so much money with that cry for help of his.  No women in the right mind would hop on this blob (impossible perhaps), unless it meant sharing his undeserving income on crap she doesn’t need.  I’m going to go ahead and be heavy-hearted and assume that she’s a fatty too, and they love each other.  Just like the couple of the White Castle marriage, I’m sticking by my Cotton Eye Joe in the barn vision (Only it’s the Spanish version with the traditional Latin beat)   But seriously, read the story, it’s hilarious.Some highlighted points:

1. Forklift and flatbed truck used to carry him around.
2. The road wasn’t big enough to handle him.
3. The sunshield tarp hitting an overpass.
4. Had a mariachi band play when he was being pushed on his iron bed.
5. Was once a mechanic - you show me how he fit under a car, and I’ll show you a liar.  (Either a liar or he had the help of David Blain)

 This story is nothing but fat-tastic.

Fantastic news today for every man in America, Australia, and the world, really. As long as you last three minutes or more in bed, you are “adequate” and deserve to live.

This is great! Take that Hollywood. Take that rock n roll superstars. The study goes to show that “doin’ it all night long” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The craziest part about the study is the researchers’ conclusion that MEN are the ones who usually want the sexy-time to last longer, not women. Somehow the ladies claim to be satisfied by these short five-to-seven minute escapades. Sounds odd, but somehow perfect at the same time.

Way to go ladies. Thanks for taking so much pressure off of the guys. It’s tough out there sometimes.

Now fetch me a beer and get ready to experience the most mind-blowing three minutes of your life!

Perhaps, the greatest quarterback (so far) of the NFL retired recently.  Brett Favre is hanging up his jersey for good from the greatest sport in America.  What better way to remember a great athlete than to name your kid after him?  Great Idea!!! I’d totally name my kid after my favorite sports star.   The Kinsaul family from Palatka, Florida decided to do just that - naming their kid after the Packer’s signal caller. 

Oh Shoot! What if its a girl?…. AHHH, no problem, we’ll call her Bretta.  No big deal! 

Okay cool, all of the bases are covered…. let the birth giving commence…. 

Okay!!! It’s a boy!!! Little Brett Aaron, so cute.  

Uhhh, here comes another……

Uh, YEAH! 

Quick! think of a name!

Uh, Favre. 

Yeah….. Favre Moses.

Oh, Shoot!  Didn’t think of TWINS! 

I feel sorry for little Favre Moses.  Kids growing up will throw spitwads at him becuase they will not know how to pronounce his name, AND is middle name is Moses.  C’mon, how many of us growing up could pronounce the name, “Krysheski” just by reading it on paper.  I know its not quite the same as “Favre”, but you get my point.  It’s just spelled differently. 

He’s going to be calling plays while leading his team across the desert.  But at least he has a hell of an arm.

Every day I listen to the Tony Kornheiser Show on 3WT radio broad casted out of our nation’s capital (or you can download it as a podcast from iTunes). As you all know Tony is a co host of the ESPN show PTI. He’s much older, wiser, sport educated, and humerus than myself. Despite his fairly liberal views I’m a huge fan of Tony K. However there is one recent comment I disagreed with fully, and thought I would bring it to the table.

A few days ago Jeff Van Gundy made a comment during the Mavericks Lakers game. He said that Kobe’s 81 points on January 22, 2006 was more impressive that Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 points, scored on March 2, 1962. Tony completely disagreed with Jeff basically saying you would have to be a moron to think this. They then went on in an objective manner saying it’s simple: Kobe had 81, Wilt had 100, Wilt’s record is more impressive.

Do you honestly think that Wilt Chamberlain could score 100 points in the past 10 years? There’s no chance. In 1962 nobody had ever heard of double teaming someone, the lane was much smaller, zone defense didn’t exist, and the level of play has increased tremendously. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge Kobe fan but  can you imagine if during that game in 2006, the defense could only put one man on him? He’d have 346 points. True during Wilt’s time there was no 3 point line. Kobe hit 7 threes during that game against the Mavericks, obviously giving him 7 more points than he might have had in 1962. It doesn’t matter. Rumor has it during the final minutes of Wilt’s record setting game, the opposing team was intentionally fouling in order to give Wilt more chances at a record setting score. Too bad this game was before the glory of video cameras at sporting events. Now that I think about it I bet everyone in the stadium made it up. I bet they all have sworn themselves to secrecy and the whole thing could be thought of as a conspiracy like JFK and the moon landing.

I will continue to listen to Tony’s show for as long as it’s on the air. His clever dialog and destructive rants will always having me come back for more. However I think his old age could be starting to get to him.