Did you ever have to go take a piss, and you have to go so bad that you would literally do it ANYWHERE?  Only as long as you get that pee out of your bladder, it’s absolutely necessary.  I could recall dozens of times when I have to go so bad that I would do it in a bush in a crowded place with my buddy shielding my back and inconspicuously looking around like we are admiring the berries on the bush.  Yeah, that happens all the time. 

Well, how about in your 6^th grade class?  You ask to go, but your teacher decides to make some smart-ass remark, and you’re not allowed.  That smart-ass comment was: “Hold it or use my lunch box.”  Wow.  Talk about a teacher who’s extremely dedicated to making her students sit down and learn what’s in front of them.  She’s even willing to sacrifice the hygiene of her lunchbox in order for that to happen.

Wait, wait…..Did she just say I could piss in her lunchbox?  I’ll do just that.  Piss in the lunchbox just to prove that I have the tiny 12 year-old balls to do it IN the classroom.   

In my opinion, both parties are wrong.  The teacher should not have told him to fill her lunchbox with yellow pride.  And the boy should not have used his teacher’s food vessel as a toilet, even though she told him to.  But even a little shit-bag 6^th grader should pick up on sarcasm. 

So, in light of this whole event, I would like to hear your “crazy I-had-to-piss-so bad” stories.  It could be about pooping if that’s funnier, or it could be about someone else.  I’ll start it off:   

-One time I went to a formal event hosted by a sorority.  Several of my brothers went along, and also some dudes that I didn’t know that were in some other fraternities.  All of us grew close, as we poked fun of our dates telling them that they should at least fornicate with us for coming to the stupid-ass formal.  All of this while getting sloppy “I’m-so-hammered-I-could-screw-Roseanne” drunk.  This guy got really hammered, and had to piss really bad on the way back on the bus.  Although I did not know the guy, he pissed out of the window of the bus while in motion.  Some of his waste got away from him and proceeded to cascade down the bottom part of the window.  Commotion erupted after the couple in front of him started to feel the mist of warm malodorous liquid covering their heads.  Luckily the dude that received the golden shower was a fraternity buddy of his.    

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