Perhaps, the greatest quarterback (so far) of the NFL retired recently.  Brett Favre is hanging up his jersey for good from the greatest sport in America.  What better way to remember a great athlete than to name your kid after him?  Great Idea!!! I’d totally name my kid after my favorite sports star.   The Kinsaul family from Palatka, Florida decided to do just that - naming their kid after the Packer’s signal caller. 

Oh Shoot! What if its a girl?…. AHHH, no problem, we’ll call her Bretta.  No big deal! 

Okay cool, all of the bases are covered…. let the birth giving commence…. 

Okay!!! It’s a boy!!! Little Brett Aaron, so cute.  

Uhhh, here comes another……

Uh, YEAH! 

Quick! think of a name!

Uh, Favre. 

Yeah….. Favre Moses.

Oh, Shoot!  Didn’t think of TWINS! 

I feel sorry for little Favre Moses.  Kids growing up will throw spitwads at him becuase they will not know how to pronounce his name, AND is middle name is Moses.  C’mon, how many of us growing up could pronounce the name, “Krysheski” just by reading it on paper.  I know its not quite the same as “Favre”, but you get my point.  It’s just spelled differently. 

He’s going to be calling plays while leading his team across the desert.  But at least he has a hell of an arm.

So, I just recently found out that I’m black… Oh excuse me, African American.   According to recent DNA discoveries, the beginning of the modern human began in the heart of Africa.  It’s hard to argue because I don’t have RadioShack’s SuperDNA9500 analysis machine to trump their Stanford University Professors.

The Professor sticking his oversized reproductive organ into this theory is Richard Myers, a.k.a. R-Money.  He claims that this “helps to argue against racism”.  I don’t agree.  No matter how much buzz this generates or how big this thing blows up, we’re still going to have the KKK, gang wars, and those funny black comedians on BET’s Comic View making fun of ‘crackers’.

But this changes my whole perspective on things.  I can now: jump higher, run faster, have an unhealthy obsession with chrome rims on Cadillacs, love grape soda, vote democrat, have an excuse to pork fat white girls, etc.  I’m a ‘brother’ now… no not like a relative or sibling, I’m talking the way the black people,  I mean ‘we’, use it.

In the spirit of it being Black History Month, for the remainder of my post, I will talk the way I feel is natural… YO! Dis be Clayton, I’m out, home-slice.  NAAAAA MEEEEAN!!! 

Vote Obama ‘08

So, these couples from Ohio decided to get married on “the most romantic day of the year” at the trashiest dump of all venues… White Castle.

I can’t help but wonder what these obese mutants look like. I could only imagine what kind of forklift was required to walk the fatass bride down the aisle. Not to mention that the wedding had its own slogan adopted from White Castle’s “What you crave” - pathetic. I just don’t understand the whole obsession with White Castle’s food. It’s disgusting, gross, redneck, smelly, and makes me want to vomit all over everything.

Just imagine what the wedding night was like… Two hippos rolling around in the middle of some hamburger grease pile in the hay loft of a barn with ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ playing in the background. The groom could only redeem himself if he gave her the ole’ Dutch oven on the wedding night. I’ll give him some cool points for that.

Here’s the story

p.s. I believe Harold and Kumar were in attendance

No seriously, I can’t tell the difference…

Check out the full story.