Knowing that people out there still love and appreciate “Teen Wolf” brings great joy to my heart, similar to the way Boof made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. And so we have the story of the former Greg White - now Stylez G. White.

Mr. White is a defensive end for the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers who decided to honor “Wolf Fever” by officially changing his name to Stylez G. White. So it’s not EXACTLY the same way that “Stiles” spelled it in the movie, but close enough. After all, the original Stiles was the inspiration behind the legal name change for Mr. White. In particular, the classic performance of “Win In The End” that plays during the final championship basketball game scene most likely won him over.

Stylez G. White, I salute thee. If I was Scotty, I would tear open a beer with my wolf chompers in your honor. Thank you for passing on the love of an 80’s pop culture legend to a new generation. I know Chubby would be proud.

I cannot really imagine waking up to anything worse than boiling-hot water being poured on, in, and/or around my genital region. But for a Bradenton, FL man, this real-life nightmare was all too…well…real.

Yeesh. Who knows what this poor guy did to piss off his wife so bad that she resorted to these antics. No word on if this occurred in a trailer park (which would actually make a lot of sense). I’m going to assume it did - makes the story better. Further, the woman - Maverna Theresa Turay - did not give police a reason as to why she poured the piping hot water on her husband’s jewels, but did tell police that she had been “drinking alcohol”. Hmmmm, verrry interesting. I never would have suspected alcohol to be an intrical part of this story. Go figure!

According to the sheriff’s report, the poor fella “ran out of the house screaming while a relative called 911″. That must have been an interesting scene for the neighbors. And I can only imagine the 911 call from the relative: “Ok, wait, so she poured what on his what?!”

I hope the man makes a full recovery. Let this be a lesson to all you gentlemen out there - if you piss off your significant other, do not leave your groin exposed, because somehow, someway, 98.6% of the time they will resort to pouring scalding liquid on your man-region.

Sweet dreams!

Tomoji Tanabe of Japan is the world’s oldest man. The dudester is seriously old - 113 years of age to be exact. Recently, he celebrated his birthday, partyin’ like twas 1899.

He told reporters that he eats a lot, but strictly avoids alcohol, cigarettes, and snacks. If avoiding the fun things in life allow you to live really long, then please count me out of the future centenarians club.

Mr. Tanabe says he is “happy”. That’s all fine and dandy, but seriously, who wants to live to be 113 years old? What the heck do you do every day that makes you want to keep living at that point? What does Tomoji do every day, all day? Most likely, all of his friends have been dead for years, and he doesn’t drink. That leaves very few options for entertainment. He said he likes to “peruse” the newspaper. Yea, I like to do that too - for about fifteen minutes. Then what does he do for the rest of the fifteen hours and forty-five minutes a day that he is awake? But I digress.

Well, as the old (sorry for the pun but I had to) saying goes, it’s not the years in your life, it’s the life in your years. And you know what? If he is happy, then gosh darnit, I’m happy for him, too. Cheers to Tomoji. I’ll toss back a saki bomb in your honor.

Hate them or love them - love them or hate them - never heard of them or Tivo them daily - kinda like them or don’t give a crap - the GEICO Cavemen have developed a cult-like following over the past few years. The obsession continues with a clever installment in the most recently released round o’ commercials.

Personally, I absolutely love these commercials. I shriek with child-like enthusiasm when new “episodes” appear. They make me laugh and I don’t really know why. They are cavemen - hilarious, hilarious cavemen. Besides that, I have no explanation for you except that the spots are original and catchy and usually have great tunes playing in harmony with the excellent on-screen action.

So go ahead world, and feast your eyes on said glory. I know I will. Mmmm. Now that’s delicious eye candy.

Aaaand so the pussification of America continues. A common story seems to be emerging more and more often in America. These days, it is almost impossible to go a week without hearing about another incident involving over-the-top, ridiculous parents. Their crazy antics continued recently when a nine-year-old was banned from his baseball league because he was too good.

What kind of a weenie coach forfeits the game because the other team’s pitcher is too good? I can just hear the coach’s speech now: Continue Reading »

Sigh. You know the old saying about dumb criminals blah blah “nobody ever said criminals were smart” blah blah. I don’t even remember what it is, and it’s not even that good of a saying. But the point is this - crooks are generally not the smartest breed. This story seems to reaffirm that fact.

I don’t know whether to laugh at the guy or just flat out feel sorry for him. Maybe if he quit smoking then he wouldn’t have to rob places with an empty cheesecake box so he could afford to buy cigarettes. I always knew smoking was  a bad habit, but if it’s driving people to rob movie rental stores with an empty cheesecake box - well that my friend is where I draw the line.

I can only imagine what the guy is telling his fellow jailbirds. He’s probably sharing a cell with the guy that tore the “do not remove under penalty of law” tag off his mattress.

In one of the most gruesome and disturbing stories since…well…EVER, a man was recently arrested for decapitating and cutting up the body of his seat-mate while on a Greyhound bus trip! And no this was not a plot in a horror flick, but, tragically, true life.

One of the really creepy aspects of the story was that passengers reported the killer was “totally calm”, like he “was having a day at the beach.” What kind of a day at the beach is that?!

According to Greyhound, the killing was “tragic but isolated”. Well, jeez, I would hope so. Good call Greyhound. I don’t even know what else to say about this story except that I hope it never happens again.

The burger looks quite unhealthy - and by unhealthy I mean by eating just one it will take 5 months off of your life - but the commercial is hi-larious, nonetheless. “I just wanted one….” Hi-lario.

Twenty years ago, a box seat in Yankees Stadium cost a measly $10. Next year, in the new Yankees Stadium, a similar seat will cost only slightly more - about $2,500.

At least that $2,500 includes free food.

And good luck trying to take a family outing to a ball game. You might as well go to Disney World. It would probably be about the same price, but neither option is worth the money.

It’s comical that even though the economy is in the shitter right now, fans are still willing to shell out some serious cash for their beloved teams, i.e. the Yankees and Yankees’ fans.

Whatever happened to $5 tickets and $1 brewskis? Those were the days.

Why go to the trouble of paying for a cocktail of various drugs when you can get them for free by simply drinking tap water?! Well, sorta.

New evidence shows just how much crap can be found in our cities drinking water supplies. To be honest, I find it sketchy that these prescription drugs are in the water we drink, even if if is only in “trace” amounts. Apparently the normal rigors of the modern-day water treatment process do not remove the pharmaceuticals from the water supply.

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