Knowing that people out there still love and appreciate “Teen Wolf” brings great joy to my heart, similar to the way Boof made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. And so we have the story of the former Greg White - now Stylez G. White.

Mr. White is a defensive end for the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers who decided to honor “Wolf Fever” by officially changing his name to Stylez G. White. So it’s not EXACTLY the same way that “Stiles” spelled it in the movie, but close enough. After all, the original Stiles was the inspiration behind the legal name change for Mr. White. In particular, the classic performance of “Win In The End” that plays during the final championship basketball game scene most likely won him over.

Stylez G. White, I salute thee. If I was Scotty, I would tear open a beer with my wolf chompers in your honor. Thank you for passing on the love of an 80’s pop culture legend to a new generation. I know Chubby would be proud.

Aaaand so the pussification of America continues. A common story seems to be emerging more and more often in America. These days, it is almost impossible to go a week without hearing about another incident involving over-the-top, ridiculous parents. Their crazy antics continued recently when a nine-year-old was banned from his baseball league because he was too good.

What kind of a weenie coach forfeits the game because the other team’s pitcher is too good? I can just hear the coach’s speech now: Continue Reading »

Since Rafael Nadal became a professional tennis player four years ago it was apparent that he possessed a relentless will to win, uncanny tennis talent, and a positively voyeuristic affinity for picking his butt on [inter]national television.

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The Olympics are soon over.  Update commencing…

USA and China are finally separating in the medal count. Although China has an overwhelming edge over the Americans in Gold medals, the US has the overall total in their favor.  China has improved so much from the Olympics prior.  It’s obvious that their strategy was to concentrate on the least popular sports (with the exception of Gymnastics) and try to take the Gold in those categories.  One problem though, there are 81 gold medals given in Swimming and Track and Field combined.  If China’s goal was to defeat the US in the medal count, then they had to dump some time into the most popular and most Gold-pungent events in the Olympics.  A good analogy would be like a Presidential Candidate not campaigning in California and New York. Continue Reading »

Now that we are in our second full week of healthy athletic competition, its time for another update.

Medal Count (Top 5):

USA - 25 Golds, 25 Silvers, 26 Bronzes = 76 Total

China - 40 Golds, 14 Silvers, 17 Bronzes = 71 Total

Russia - 9 Golds, 13 Silvers, 17 Bronzes = 39 Total

Australia - 11 Golds, 11 Silvers, 12 Bronzes = 34 Total

Great Britain - 14 Golds, 7 Silvers, 8 Bronzes = 29 Total

Notes:

The women’s gymnastics all-around event finished as U.S. taking Gold (Nastia Luikin) and Silver (Shawn Johnson) - Prooving once again that sweatshop working kids just can’t jump into the gym and expect a gold medal in their future.

The U.S. Wrestler, Henry Cejudo, beats Japan’s Tomohiro Matsunaga for the gold - securing the another consecutive gold medal for the U.S. in a freestyle event in the last 9 Olympics.  Prooving once again that just because you’re good at math, doesn’t mean you can calculate your way out of an Mexican-American Sleeper Hold. 

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh advance to the Gold medal match, sweeping teams in the Semi-Finals.  This is their 107th consecutive victory over any beach volleyball duo.  They play top-seeded Tian Jia and Wang Jie.  No anecdote here, I’m waiting the outcome. 

The Redeem Team absolutely crushes the German team 106-57, and are just 3 wins away from the Gold.  They even jumped to a 20-3 lead at one point in the first quarter.  Prooving once again that once Hitler died, so did Germany’s basketball dreams (both thanks to the Americans)

GO USA!!!!

US gymnast and beloved cutie pie Alicia Sacramone punches some guy.   We all know this girl is a fighter, seeing her battle back from a disappointing experience in Athens.  (I’m not exactly sure what I’m talking about, because I didn’t know who Alicia Sacramone was until a few days ago…but I hear she has battled back from something, sometime. BUT, I do know she is a cutie pie.)

In reading some of the comments on YouTube, apparently this duder was one of Alicia’s friends who egged her on…and she responded…with a sweet left hook…to the jaw…dropping said egger.

If I may include some commentary on Sacramone’s Olympic performance and what not…

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China is doing a fantastic job putting on these games.  I don’t care if they are Communist.  I don’t care if they won’t free Tibet.  And I don’t care if they don’t like Joey Cheek, although I never met the guy, Prez G-dub says he’s a good man.  Kudos to China for putting on a great spectacle. 

Also, what really surprises me is the turnaround.  China has never contended for medals in the past, and all of a sudden they are teetering with USA in the top spot of the medal count chart.   Talk about home pride.  But USA fans should not worry.  The Track and Feild competitions start on day 7.  Enlightened by the French swimmer, Alain Bernard,  I feel obligated to say: ”The American’s are going to smash them” and “I hate Frenchies”

Here’s your update:

Medal Count (Top 5):

China - 22 Golds, 7 Silvers, 5 Bronzes = 34 Total

USA - 10 Golds, 9 Silvers, 14 Bronzes = 33 Total

South Korea - 6 Golds, 7 Silvers, 3 Bronzes = 16 Total

Australia - 5 Golds, 4 Silvers, 7 Bronzes = 16 Total

Frenchies - 2 Golds, 7 Silvers, 6 Bronzes = 15 Total

Notes:

Michael Phelps continues to woo “Phelps Phans” all over the globe.  He now has the most gold medals of any Olympic athlete of all time, AND he has broken the world record in every single medal race he has swum. 

Kosuke Kitajima of Japan is the best Breast Stroker in the world.  I’m jealous because I long dreamed of having that title.

The USA men’s gymnastics team surprisingly took the Bronze in the Team Final.  And my USA girls took Silver (Once the Chinese girl’s ages are revealed, that might change to gold).  Alicia Sacramone: I don’t care if she did fall on the beam and floor exercise, she’s still the best looking girl in the Olympics.  Okay, second behind Jennie Finch. 

GO USA!!!!

So, as previously stated, I want Candace Parker’s shoulders. Not to bite. Not to lick. But to have as my own…in a slightly off-white, salmon color please.

To your ralph is a picture of Candace at the ESPYs about a month ago. (Yes, I only report on the freshest of topics.) Since then, her shoulders have tripled in size. (I’ve heard.) The ESPY trophy in the picture must weigh a good 25 bills. There is no other reason to be flexing that much.

Let me tell you about another famous pair of shoulders: At first glance Dwight Howard’s shoulders look like bowling balls welded to steel pipes. His shoulders are so big, they wear pants.

So to conclude probably the worst deltoid commentary of all time… Dear God, please allow (force?) Candace Parker and Dwight Howard to mate. I’d love to see ‘lil beach ball shoulders all tuckered out after a long day of military pressing bison carcass.

Ionic Parker-Howard, we look forward to meeting you.

View more on Dwight Howard and the Olympics 2008.

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As I sat there watching the Packers begin the 2008 preseason against the Bengals on Monday night I could not help but begin to cheer for my guys in green and gold. Besides having the greatest uniforms in the NFL, the Packers also sport an exciting roster full of young, talented, aggressive players. Brandon Jackson made the Bengals defense look silly while running under, around, and through tacklers. However, my excitement truly peaked at the sight of Donald Driver and James Jones each running over Bengals defenders on their way to accruing some YAC (yards after catch for you non footballers). As Driver lowered his shoulder and laid out a Bengals defensive back I found myself smiling and pumping my fist. Then, as Jones trucked two defenders, lost him helmet, and sauntered into the end zone I found myself standing and cheering.

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After a fantastic, glorious, terrorist-free, expensive ($300M!) opening ceremony on Friday night, August 8, 2008 – The 29^th Olympic games are under way.

I was literally glued to the television set like they were showing reruns of Saved by the Bell. However, my TV was not showing Zack and Kelly slow dancing outside of the costume ball, but rather Michael Phelps breaking world records, Dana Torres showing she can swim with the much more hip and younger girls, and Shawn Johnson delivering a crisp, mistake-free routine (unlike her teammates).

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